Em's Story - Grateful for Life
I have lived with mental health issues since I was a child. PTSD, depression, suicidal ideation (and attempts), CPTSD, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.
My life has been far from perfect. I have had to deal with abuse on multiple levels. I don't really like talking about it. I've been in-and-out of therapy for about 16 years. On-and-off medication.
I felt for years that my life was over and I had tried to end it several times. I really just wanted to give up. However, there was a part of me that wanted to change.
About 5-ish years ago, my therapy sessions brought up the idea of daily gratitude practice. I really hated everything. I was so bitter. Especially because several things made my life worse here.
It was very hard to keep this practice up. I was reminded over and over again how much it would help. I also did much research on the topic. I did this on-and-off for several years trying to find something that worked. It was such a struggle. I truly felt like giving up so many times.
Two years or so ago I came across the Gratitude app when searching the app store for mental health healing aids. I thought to give it a try.
So, almost every day for two years I used this application. The daily reminders just became automatic. The Daily Zen and the daily gratitude journaling were somethings that I did.
I did not think anything would happen. What could really change? Then one day I realized that I actually felt happy. That might sound odd to some, I know. For as long as I can remember, I had no idea what it felt like to be happy.
I was my depression. I was my PTSD. I was my anxiety. I was my past. For so long. I no longer have these thoughts. This app has been a huge help in changing me and helping me live.
My thoughts of suicide have gone down so much. I actually enjoy events and even small everyday things like rain and butterflies.
I am grateful for this app. I have changed for the better. Thank you for saving my life!