Sunita's Story - I survived
"I felt like a volcano inside, ready to erupt at any moment."
I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. I lived with most of my aunts, uncle, and grandmother in one compound, in the midst of extreme poverty. There were days when our only meal was fries for dinner. My stepbrother, after realizing I was his stepsister, turned me into his punching bag. Over the years, I carried so much anger and pain, especially as my mother began neglecting me when I was still in primary school. She would use the grant money meant for me to buy herself nice things, while I was left wearing rags.
When I finally stood up for myself, saying the money should be spent on me, it caused a huge conflict. My mother, in her anger, told me I should have died the day I was born. I didn't take it to heart because I was already dealing with so much pain, including problems at school. My best friend abandoned me for others she thought were better, and she publicly shamed me on social media, making fun of how I repeated clothes under my school uniform. I became the laughingstock of Facebook.
As the years passed, things only got worse at home. My grandmother and mother often fought, and as a result, my brothers and I suffered. They would cook food and hide it from us. My grandmother even went as far as removing all of our belongings, forcing us to sleep in one room while she locked the others. I remember studying one day, and she came and threw my books on the floor. She used to lock the gate, and we would have to jump over it just to leave or enter the compound.
Eventually, we moved out, but nothing really changed. Whenever I tried to talk to my mother about my academics, she would just remain silent. When I told her she needed to find a creche for my younger brother, she became furious and threatened to quit her job, saying we’d see how we would survive. Her reaction left me feeling completely unsupported.
Around June of this year, my brother beat me so badly that I ended up in the hospital—on the week of my birthday, no less. I had to attend victim empowerment sessions for gender-based violence, and half of my body wasn’t functioning properly for weeks. To make things worse, it was exam season, and I had two important exams coming up.
There’s so much more I could share about the abuse—verbal, physical, and mental—that I’ve endured. I carried that pain, anger, and hatred inside of me for years. I saw the toll it was taking on me, especially a month ago when I found myself withdrawing from relationships. I felt like a volcano inside, ready to erupt at any moment.
I’ve been taking things one day at a time, and through this app and with God’s help, I’m managing to stay strong. It’s not easy. Two years ago, I tried to commit suicide, and I still struggle with negative thoughts. But this app, along with my faith, has made it easier to get through the tough days. Even though there are still moments when I’m at my worst, this app has been truly amazing in helping me hold on.
