Before practicing gratitude, everything was normal. It was a normal life, I was not experiencing something devastating happening in my life that I should actually think upon.
I thought about being grateful like it's okay, it's a thing. But what happened is that during my CA journey, everything was going fine but then I was diagnosed with some stones in my gallbladder, and I had to get operated for that.
So I thought, okay, that operation will go fine and everything will be back on track in a few months, and I'll get back to my studies again. But it didn't happen like that. I had to take rest, proper medication, and everything.
But above that, my articleship was going on in a CA firm, and I had to miss a lot of audits. I was not able to concentrate on my studies also.
I was in an emotionally devastated state before actually practicing gratitude. And I realized that things were going out of my control. I used to panic every time, every day, thinking how will I survive?
How will I again go back on the track where I started with a lot of enthusiasm? I was in the CA of finals when this happened. And it was a story that always reminds me of being grateful in my life.
So I was not able to concentrate on anything. I didn't want to even talk to my friends. I used to leave the groups, not connect on any social media, everything. I surrendered myself to depression. And I welcomed that sadness has found a fixed place to stay in my life.
But then there was one of my friends who told me, "Okay, there are some rough phases in your life, but it's not constant, because time is not constant. And you have to accept that your time will come and things will change. So start being grateful to people you have in your life, your parents, your friends who always support you whenever you are in need."
I actually took gratitude seriously that time. I started to practice it that okay, my parents are there. It was a time when my father used to feed me with food and I started facing acidity issues.
I was not able to eat. I'm also a big fan of overthinking. Now it is pretty much within control. But then, overthinking happened at such a rapid pace. I started experiencing that I'm having cancer also.
I'm not able to eat and it was very devastating. My father used to feed me with food at the night. I used to prefer liquid food because nothing was going inside. My health was deteriorating at a very rapid pace. I used to even think that whether going to survive or not.
There were a lot of astrological issues also. I consulted because something was happening which was out of my control. I was feeling like I'm dying inside, it was something like that. Even endoscopy also happened, but nothing was there.
Not even a single thing was coming out in the report. Everything was in my mind. The mind was playing so harsh that I was not able to concentrate on anything, not able to even eat my food also. Even today I think of that phase, I cry.
Never should anyone in their life go in that phase because you feel like you're not in this world. I used to miss my classes, they used to happen at 6:30 in the morning. I didn't use to go because acidity was happening at such a rapid pace that I was not able to walk, not able to sleep.
I took sleeping tablets, but I used to wake all night. It was very devastating. But after thinking that I have some people in my life, I have each and everything. I have nature. I used to get up every morning and be actually grateful that I'm surviving today.
The main thing that I realized was that today I am here. I have a body and I can do things. One of the things that happened is that I was having one of my friends by my side. Every day, I used to talk to him.
And he actually told me, "Be happy. It's okay. There are some phases that you just cannot resist. But one thing is for sure that your time will come and everything will change."
It was a very good experience for me because it said that if life is going on at a very normal pace, then you don't have a story to tell. So today I have a story to tell that I practice gratitude and that I experienced that self-transformation in my life. And I'm very happy for that.