Gabriella’s Gratitude Story: Leaving the Judgment Behind
Letting the feelings out instead of holding everything in
Trigger Warning: This story mentions self-harm, emotional abuse, alcohol dependence, and mental health challenges. Please read with care.
Gabriella grew up as someone who gave out much more appreciation than she ever received. Raised in a complicated environment by parents who did the best they could, she struggled a lot as a teenager. She often acted out and blamed others for her behavior because she did not know how to process her feelings. By the time she reached her final year of university in 2019, everything became much harder to manage. She found herself completely alone. Other people got involved, and after issues with her stepparents, she had to leave home.
Trying to survive on her own, Gabriella fell into an abusive relationship that looked a lot like the one her dad had with her mom. She did not realize how bad it was until the emotional pain became so unbearable that she started using sewing and piercing needles to hurt herself, just to distract her mind. She was in and out of the hospital, but whenever doctors recommended counseling or a psychiatrist, she pushed back. She just wanted the pain to end. She knew she was a good person and couldn't understand why her family was so quick to doubt her, even questioning the hard work she had put into school. To cope, she would go to work, come home, and look for her next drink, locking herself in her room to sleep the days away. She tried her best to look after herself, but most days she simply didn't have the energy to keep up.
Things got worse when she lost a very close uncle. His family had been involved in the situation that led her to leave her home and did not portray her in a positive light, yet she still continued to support them despite how difficult it was for her. She felt like she was back to zero every single day. But in the beginning of 2022, something unexpected happened. Gabriella always believed she could not have children because of cysts, but she found out she was pregnant. It brought her pure joy. She knew she had to do better for herself and her baby. She started going to group counseling at a local women's shelter and talking to a doctor.
But changing her life was not easy. Feeling weighed down and judged by everyone around her, she slipped back into drinking. On a particularly painful day, feeling like she had nobody to talk to, she started searching for quotes to get her through. That was when the Gratitude app appeared. People had always told her to journal, but it never worked for her until she found a safe space.
"Practicing gratitude allowed me to voice my feelings in that moment without feeling judged or feeling like someone is to blame. It is just about letting those emotions out and expressing yourself."
~Gabriella
The morning reminders and words of affirmation gave her a sudden burst of energy to start her day. Whenever she had a chance, she would drop everything just to write a message to herself because it made her feel so much better. She started to see her own strength and began viewing herself in a much better light. Instead of constantly seeking validation from people who turned her down, she found herself appreciating the small things in life again.
"I noticed there are more things to be happy about in life. Your day can change from the smallest thing, and these moments help you notice that at least you are smiling. That is something to celebrate."
~Gabriella
The habit of daily journaling and taking time for her own well-being helped her become a softer version of herself again. She became more patient and motivated, and even enjoyed seeing her progress day after day. Today, Gabriella still struggles sometimes with a habit of isolating and switching off her phone, but she keeps up with her positive habits. Every morning, she starts her day with reassuring words and reminders to check in on herself. She does not need the stress of other people judging her because she is now focusing on true and positive things about herself. She knows now that healing takes time, whether it happens today, tomorrow, or ten years from now.
"Give yourself love before anyone and anything else, and that is how you can give out your love to the next person. Remind yourself you matter."
~Gabriella
This is Gabriella’s story, told beautifully by her and curated in its truest form by me to share with you.
I would love to hear your story. Write to me at [email protected] 💌
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