We human beings are vulnerable to ourselves.
Not the past year, not the year before but for the last 4 years now I have been through some hard times, emotionally.
I was not depressed but perhaps I was on my way to it. I was stressed all the time. I criticized myself brutally and believed if others did so.
I took few decisions related to my own career that others would have considered stupid but I knew it was required at that time. But I continued to doubt and harass myself and let others make me feel bad for it.
I was upset with how I looked. I just would not cut myself some slack. I felt bad to ask for help because there are thousands of others with misery bigger than me.
I have always been an introverted person and love solitude but my peace was gone. I decided one day to share all these with my best friend. Because one day it was too much to take.
I started getting anxiety and restlessness. I wanted to cry but as if I could not. She asked me to let out and listened to me. I am beyond grateful for she tolerated my endless whinings for more than a week.
But I was unable to get rid of the hurt. Unable to forgive me or unable to love me. She reminded me, I did nothing wrong. Everyone goes at their own pace and that my dreams are important. And that I deserve to be heard and respected.
I started considering it. But even now after I feel calm I feel ashamed of asking for help. Maybe it will go away in a few days.
But, I decided to try loving myself. I decided to start thinking that I deserve good things. I started reading about such things. It said, practice GRATITUDE.
I read more about Gratitude. One thing led to another, I searched for the Gratitude app randomly in the Play Store. And I stumbled upon this wonderful app. There were many others but I really liked it the most.
Sometimes, people can't really think of anything. This app pushes a person to think of something by giving examples. I think it's wonderful. I started filling it out every day.
I started doing the challenges. I could see a difference as I was much more inclined to give myself credit, love, and care.
I am not completely out of the dark place but I have come out a lot and I intend to use this app for a really long time.
It makes me mindful of small things that we tend to overlook but has the power to spread a smile. I love reading the articles that really help to enrich our perspectives.
It is great to start a day with a wonderful quote too. I am really grateful for the existence of this app. Thank you to the team who created it. Sending you all positivity and peace.