I guess my story starts with I was born in the small town of Lancaster SC, in 1988. My childhood probably looks a little different than most.
By the time I was 6 years old I was regularly going to bars with my mom, grandmaw, and grandpaw, falling asleep on a barstool in the kitchen.
I was what I call the family child. Everyone in my family had a hand in raising me. I was the favorite cousin, niece, granddaughter, and only child to my mom.
So when I got older I had trouble identifying who I was bc so many different personalities went into my childlike brain.
There were lots of alcoholics in my family so when I turned 13 I started partying with my mom and her boyfriend at that time.
It didn't take long for me to start using drugs and skipping school. I became very sexually active and had my first child at 17. I had my own apartment at 16.
I was basically playing house and I was still a kid. After my daughter was born I had postpartum depression. As a matter of fact, I was clinically depressed my entire life but I didn't know this until much later.
I tried to go back to school, but I had to work and I had a newborn, so I dropped out in the 11 grade. Shortly after I turned 18, my dad passed away, and he left me a huge chunk of money.
My drug use escalated tremendously overnight. I was down to 100 lbs soaking wet. I'd like to say once the money ran out I sought treatment but that's not the case.
My drug problem lasted 15 yrs, 2 more children, lots of deaths, lots and lots of jail time, I did what I had to do to stay high.
Use your imagination. If you can think it I did it.
I don't like to dwell on the past but I have to show you where I was so that my story can hopefully help the person reading this.
I really thought my life would never get better. My drug and alcohol use was no longer fun, I had to have it just so I wouldn't get sick.
I went to rehab only to use the same day I got out and spiral right back to the bottom. I lost my kids, houses, my self-respect, all confidence went out the window. I didn't like myself at all.
Finally, my higher power set up the closing chain of events that took place fore to get sober. I was getting evicted from my mom's house, I had no friends, looking at prison time, and in a crowd full of people felt so alone.
I heard the Doves Nest treatment facility thrown around a couple of times, but I didn't need long-term treatment, just 3 hots, and a cot until I could figure out my next move.
So on December 13 @ 11 pm my brother drove 2 hours to pick me up and take me to detox. I stayed 14 days under surveillance in detox, I slept the whole first seven days effortlessly.
On December 28, 2020, I arrived at Doves Nest, nervous, intimidated, guarded, scared, and alone.
For the next 5 months, I was nursed back to good health, clean and sober but more importantly, I was introduced to a God of my understanding and told that no matter what I did God would never stop loving for me and fighting for me.
That he never abandoned me. The thoughts that I had in my mind for myself were lies. That I was put on this earth to love to learn others and let others love me.
Life is a classroom and He always has my back. Today I live a clean and sober life. I'm happy, I love and others love me.
I learned I'm very wise, I've been told I have an old soul. I'm goofy as heck, I laugh.
My relationship with my children is progressing. I don't have to ever live the way I lived before, nor do u.
It doesn't matter if it's drugs, weight, sex, or whatever. You can have a meaningful life too.
All you have to do is ask God, and the best part is, He can be however you want him to be.
I hope my journey helps someone out there. Thanks and may God wrap his arms around you.