Note from editor: This story is in honor of Amber, written by her mother. Let us keep her in our prayers and send a lot of love and strength to her family.
Amber Dawn Phillips was born on February 24, 1992. As I saw her beautiful face, I said, "Hello, my love. I am your Mommy." Amber had been wailing away; she'd exited the warmth of my womb into this cold, large world, hearing strange voices and feeling feelings for the first time.
I can imagine Amber felt cold, confusion, fear, warmth, relief, possibly pain, and the sweet absence of the same pain. I know for sure Amber felt love – love from her mother's voice, being held close and secure in her mom's arms, and Amber felt love in her own heart when she heard her mom and dad's voices and felt the love they both extended to her.
Amber was a good baby girl. She slept through the night by the age of 4 months old. Amber's big sister Beth, who'd been eagerly awaiting Amber's arrival, would hold her baby sister just as she had held so many of her own baby dolls. Beth was living her little dream, a real-life baby to care for and to love.
Amber grew exponentially; she loved her family and all of her many friends. Being a healthy, very beautiful young lady, Amber was busy living her wonderful life, loving and caring for her little sisters Summer and Sarah, dancing not only at parties and clubs but also around the house where she would fill the days with her infectious, big smile and laughter. Then she met a boy, and Amber fell in love. What a unique time in Amber's life.
Amber had her first child, Leland, and she loved him with every fiber of her being. He was her life now. Leland never could've had a better, more attentive, and loving mom than Amber. Amber felt the love a real mother feels for her child, and she bloomed as a mom.
Soon she was expecting her second child, although Amber was not sure she was ready. How could she possibly be able to have a second baby? Amber rested in her faith in God; she refused to abort her daughter, yet unborn. Amber said, "I will not kill my baby."
On April 27, 2012, Amber gave birth to a healthy little girl, Lexi. As Amber's mom, I stayed with Amber in the delivery room until I was told I had to wait outside. Amber was afraid; she took my hands in hers, gripping me tight, and she said, "Pray, Mom, I don't want to die." I told Amber, "Baby, you're in the hospital. You are in the best place that is equipped to help you." Amber calmed down; she told me how she was excited, she couldn't wait to meet her daughter. I told Amber, "I love you, baby." Then I was rushed away.
If I had known, if I could see, if only God would have conveyed unto me that was goodbye, I would have told Amber so much more. But I had no idea that Amber would lose her heartbeat and that the so-called doctor, basically, through her negligence, would kill my child. I would have said, done more. Goodbye, my forever love. I shall remember, I shall love, and I shall honor YOU, AMBER DAWN PHILLIPS.