If you are like me, you have had phases of self-doubt. Spending time questioning all that we are working for or moving towards or if we’re worth it.
Self-doubt can be for various factors like our skills, life’s purpose, opportunities, what we deserve, our worth, etc. It looks like no one can really escape it forever, and also that it might not be so bad.
Self-doubt is not always unhealthy, and sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise. Either way, it’s tough to experience.
It can turn so consuming that everything looks blurry. Let’s figure out how to tackle it, use it for our benefit, and eventually let it go.
6 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
- Talk to yourself like a friend
- Realize that it’s normal and potentially beneficial
- Stop yourself when it becomes toxic
- Remember your past achievements
- Spend time with supportive people
- Listen/Read inspirational content
1. Talk to yourself like a friend
Imagine if a friend of yours was going through what you are. All those questions and words, some quite harsh, that you know any friend doesn’t deserve. Think about the way that you would advise them.
Put yourself in their place. Have a dialogue. Try to identify the points that are valid and the ones that will only cause trouble. Recognize the problems that you can work upon and the parts that won’t lead to any good.
Be compassionate towards yourself. Remember that the only person that must always believe in you is you. It is hard to go through this phase, there is no denying it, but you don’t have to be hard on yourself too.
You are worthy just as you are. Affirm positive statements like:
- I can do this.
- Everything is under control
- I am worthy as I am
- I believe in myself
- I am capable
You can practice positive affirmations on the Gratitude app here.
2. Realize that it’s normal and potentially beneficial
Not every thought that occurs in your head is going to become true. Not every fear is a prediction. This is something that happens to the best of us.
Think of it as a quality check, a kind of test to figure out if something is truly important for you and how willing you are to go after it and work for it. For example, if you doubt your abilities at your job, then seek out ways to remove that insecurity.
Maybe you can give extra time to learn, receive feedback from more experienced people, challenge yourself in areas that are not so easy for you. Try what you can to grow from this.
3. Stop yourself when it becomes toxic
It is beneficial only to the point where it helps us move forward or where we need to be. Once it takes the form of self-sabotage and pulls us down, lowering our self-esteem, then we must take steps to come out of it.
If you are constantly comparing yourself to someone else, it’s unhealthy. If you’re measuring your worth based on someone else’s achievements, it’s unhealthy. Being inspired by someone promotes learning. Drawing comparisons to lower yourself leads to decline.
4. Remember your past achievements
If right now you are not what or where you want to be, remember the times when you were successful in achieving your goals, the times when you were shining.
It will happen again. Life is not a downward or upward slope. It’s a mix of both. In the moments when it seems that you don’t have it in you, remind yourself of how you felt when your heart was beaming with joy.
Trust yourself. You do have what it takes. It might take a little more time, a little more effort, but you’ll get past this.
5. Spend time with supportive people
Sometimes, all we need is to have another person’s words to comfort us, for them to tell us that we’re not falling apart, that it’s going to be okay, that we have it together.
If you have at least one person in your life that you can open up about your feelings, do reach out. Tell them about your fears, your doubts. It may turn out that it wasn’t so complicated after all, but you just needed someone else to clear it out for you. Isolating yourself is going to be of no help.
If there is someone out there who can help you, don’t hesitate to ask.
6. Listen/Read inspirational content
With the blessing of the internet, high-quality content is at our fingertips. Watch helpful videos to guide and motivate yourself, read articles to figure out what you can do to deal with your specific problems, invest time in resources to grow yourself.
One of the best ways to beat insecurity is to beat what you’re insecure about. Read books, see how the journeys have been for other people. There’s a lot available out there to help you. When you have questions, go ahead and try your best to find answers to them.
And, that’s all for now.
Self-doubt is a very unsettling and uncomfortable feeling. It’s not something that you want to let fester. If you are going through it or were before, let me know how these tips sound to you. Do you have more to share? Let’s help each other out and find more solutions to this problem together.