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Hey there! How’s it going? I was on time off last week to care for my health which is why there was no new post from me. At Gratitude, practicing what we preach is our core value, so naturally, I followed my advice from this post to prioritize my health.
I’m happy to be back and start writing on a topic that’s been a long time coming. How to be a good friend to yourself.
In many of my writings here, I have expressed that if we become our own friends, life would be a much more beautiful experience. I think it’s time that I dive headfirst into this topic and share my tips with you.
Let’s start by understanding the very basic thing: who is a good friend?
Who is a good friend?
The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. acronym defines a friend as someone who fights for you, respects you, includes you, encourages you, needs you, deserves you, and stands by you.
A good friend is someone who is your greatest well-wisher. They’re there for you to lift your spirits, to be your support system, and to never judge you.
We’re lucky to have friends like this in our lives. Think about how empowering it would be if we become that friend to ourselves. A healthy self-relationship is fundamental to contentment. Let’s learn to become our friends with the following steps:
7 Ways to Be a Good Friend to Yourself From Today
- Be excited about your life
- Give yourself hope
- Stop bullying yourself
- Focus on lessons
- Believe in yourself
- Quit comparison
- Be a good listener
1. Be excited about your life
A good friend is most elated when something great happens in your life. They’re looking forward to your future and have high hopes for you. Can you be your own cheerleader?
We tend to suppress our excitement and joy from the fear of being judged or that it would turn sour soon. Let’s live more. Celebrate the small and big victories in your life. Know that you deserve the best things.
There are a lot of great experiences waiting for you, and you should the one who’s most excited to live them.
2. Give yourself hope
We can’t escape difficult times and problems no matter how hard we try to do things right. When something goes wrong and when it’s really hard to keep your spirits up, don’t let go of hope.
Negativity takes hold too easily and in that state, we tend to have thoughts that shove us into decline. As a good friend, it is your duty to give yourself hope in the toughest of situations.
You can make it through anything and no challenge is strong enough to break you irrevocably. If you become your own source of hope and strength, you’ll survive any storm that comes your way.
3. Stop bullying yourself
It’s quite straightforward, isn’t it? You wouldn’t be friends with someone who bullies you. But, how come so many of us become our own inescapable bullies?
Friends empower each other, not pull each other down. Stop nit-picking every little conceived flaw in your body or your voice or your past or the way you walk, sing or dance.
Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve great things. A bully will never let you thrive or encourage you to do what’s best for you. You don’t need that in your life, and certainly, you don’t need that in yourself.
Talk to yourself kindly and with the best intentions.
4. Focus on lessons
Well, we’re human, and we’re bound to mess up from time to time. There is no expectation that we’ll always be perfect. So, there are going to be falls. There are going to be times when you stumble on your path. But, what matters is what happens afterward.
Mistakes are methods of learning, not permissions to demoralize yourself. If you choose to be careful in the future, make amends, and do better than you did this time, you put the occurrence of your mistake to the best use possible.
After this, don’t stay stuck in the crash. The way forward is wiser and it doesn’t do to stay where you were when you didn’t know better. Forgive yourself and move on. Remember that you are your own friend. What would you want for your friend?
5. Believe in yourself
Do you have dreams? Do you have those burning desires that you want to fulfill? Is there something that you really want to do and you know is right for you? Are there some choices that you can make to come close to your vision for your life?
If you knew about a close friend who wanted something in their life, they knew they needed to make this step, or just that they wanted to take on a challenge, what would you do? Would you instill fear of failure in them or shower them with encouraging words? Would you believe in them and how great their lives can be if they just take the step they really want to?
I’m sure you have dreams too. They don’t have to be big or earth-shattering. A dream is just something that you want to bring into your life. Even if it’s starting a bakery from your home, it’s a beautiful dream and one that you deserve to live. I believe in your ability to achieve your dreams. And, as a friend, you should too.
Related: Top 6 Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
6. Quit comparison
Would you put your friend against someone else and start measuring how they perform or how they need to be instead? That’s cruel. A friend doesn’t deserve that. And you would be a terrible friend to do something like this.
Then, how is it that we routinely compare ourselves to others? How are we so cruel to ourselves, the one person we will be with at every moment of life?
Comparison is horribly unfair and one of the most effective ways to discourage anyone. It’s also pretty useless. There’s no good that comes out of it. I really think that as friends, we need to let go of this behavior and choose to be better.
7. Be a good listener
We all love that friend who listens to us, with no judgment, the one who’s there to understand us. We feel heard and valued. Let us also value our voice.
Listen to yourself when you feel something isn’t right. Listen to yourself when you know it’s time to go. Listen to your heart’s desires. If you feel your body needs rest, listen to it.
We all need to become more connected with ourselves. To be more present, to be more mindful. As you value and attend to the external voices, stay close to the internal one too. Be a good friend :)
And, that’s all from me! We deserve great friends in life as much as we deserve our own friendship. It is not in our control how other people choose to behave with us, but our behavior certainly is.
Give yourself the love and care that you would to a friend. I am positive that it will drastically improve your experience of life and give you what you look for. I know you deserve it and it’s time that you believe that too.
If you made it here, please share this with anyone that you think would find value in my words. Let's help each other out whenever we can!
I wish you the very best every day. Have a fantastic life!
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