In life, we cultivate a great number of relationships of varying intensities. Some relationships stay for the long haul, and some wither with time. Some contribute significantly to making our lives happier, and some leave scars.
One relationship forfeits all others in terms of how it directs our lives, and it is the one that we have with ourselves. This relationship is forevermore and naturally, is deeply valuable. But, how many of us can say that we have a healthy relationship with ourselves? We put immense love and effort into our other close relationships but sweep aside the love we need to provide ourselves.
Let’s do better now. Let’s learn what we can do to have a fulfilling and nurturing relationship with the one person we will always be with:
Tips for a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
- Talk to yourself like a friend
- Be compassionate to every part of you
- Make room for yourself
- Take steps to care for your well-being
1. Talk to yourself like a friend
I think if we really become a friend to ourselves, half the problem is solved. But, only if that were easy. Maybe we can’t be our best friend right now but we can strike up a sweet supportive friendship where we promise to not bring ourselves down.
We wouldn’t dare to demoralize any friend, right? Let’s not demoralize ourselves too.
When we make mistakes, let’s learn from them, make amends, and also let go. Let’s not carry the albatross around our necks.
Let’s talk to ourselves in a kind and empowering tone. You can learn how to practice positive self-talk here.
And, let’s not attach our worth to some ideas or goals. You are worthy just as you are, right where you are. Support yourself as you walk through life, achieve all your dreams, but know that basing your worth on any variable will provide a shaky foundation. If you think that your friends are worthy no matter what situation they are in, then so are you.
2. Be compassionate to every part of you
Your body, your mind, your voice, your journey, your life, all of these things that make you who you are deserve a lot of love from your heart.
We can be so self-critical and perfection-oriented that being aware of what’s good about us takes the backseat. It is great to want to grow and become better but all of that should come from a place of compassion and gratitude, not distaste and negativity.
Remember to place high value in your life and who you are right now. We all have dreams, we all want to achieve things, but the most important thing is to know that who you are right now is an individual that is much wiser than before.
And, some things should be accepted as they are, especially your body. Sadly, many of us send a lot of hate to something that supports our life. Everything that we’re able to do is because of our body. Shouldn’t that be the one thing that we’re most grateful for?
Also, make it a point to not compare yourself to others. It is only going to fuel self-doubt (read Tips to Free Yourself from Self-Doubt). Take inspiration, learn best practices, but don’t beat yourself up for being who you are not.
3. Make room for yourself
Are you one of the nice ones? The ones that put someone else’s need above their own, hold back opinions, make space to accommodate others and are fearful of ending relationships that clearly need to be let go of.
Listen, it’s great to think of doing good for others. It is what the world needs, people that care. But, that shouldn’t come at the cost of rejecting what is good for you.
Be clear about your boundaries and enforce them when pushed. A lot of regretful occurrences in my life root back to moments when I didn’t speak up.
Be vocal about situations that feel shady or uncomfortable to you. Once you know that something is only going to worsen, walk away. Be mindful about how and where you invest your energy.
Ask for help when you need it. If you knew that someone that matters to you could benefit from your help, you would be there for them, right? Similarly, people who care about you want to do the same thing, all you need to do is ask.
And, make room to be who you truly are. Let go of the judgments that might arise from you embracing your personality. Be fearless in your pursuit of things that really matter to you. We have this one life, let’s make it our own.
4. Take steps to care for your well-being
Here it becomes important to help yourself with activities that nurture your well-being. This includes,
- Eating healthy
- Regularly exercising
- Keeping a gratitude journal
- Maintaining empowering relationships
- Taking adequate rest and sleep
- Drinking enough water
- Spending time with nature
- Replacing negative thoughts with positive (learn how)
- Keep your hobbies close
As other responsibilities take our time and energy, we can lose on keeping close to the things that we have always loved to do. Make it a point to do something that you enjoy at least once a week. It can be painting, reading, writing, calling a friend you haven’t met for some time, watching a movie you love, going on long drives, or anything else. Prioritize your joy.
- Prepare for hope in crisis
It doesn’t take long for the night to change, and then it becomes increasingly difficult to be positive with ourselves and our outlook on life. On a good day, write a note to yourself that you would read during times of struggle. In it, remind yourself of the transient nature of hardships and that you should still remain kind to yourself, to not bash your life. Also, stay close to reliable people who will help and give you support when you dearly need it.
And, that’s it! These were some tips to help you form a healthy relationship with yourself. Let me know in the comments if they were helpful or any points that you would like to add. Wishing you the very best! Take care :)