When I was 14, I was going through quite a chaotic time in my life. I cared so much for making others happy, feel good, etc, yet I constantly seemed to mess up as well as get hurt myself.
I felt amazing, in some moments, then in others, I would feel like my whole world crumbled in on me. I was diagnosed bipolar, and from there I was messed up and the journey continued.
I remember during manic depressive episodes writing in a journal all the things I hated about myself, it was a way to let go, donate feelings to the paper until there weren't anymore.
During University the situation did not get a lot better. People kept telling me to focus on the bright side. When I was manic-depressive it was like my mind found the negative aspects of those bonuses.
Then at one moment, I found the root positive. I realized being bipolar is a blessing, not a curse. It allows me to feel so much, connect because of it, and empathize.
It allows me to live fully in the moment, experiencing whatever emotions come through. It also allows me to feel absolutely blissful at times. By rewriting the narrative, the whole story changed.
I went off meds, I stopped taking drugs, and I started practicing gratitude, in a journal, in my head, constantly. My manic depressive episodes slowly lessened until at one point disappeared.
I am now the luckiest person I know, I am grateful almost my entire day, I make sure not to complain, at first, this was work, like anything, it requires diligence, until, it doesn't. Until it's who you are.
The type of friends I had changed, the type of things that happened to me changed, everything changed.
It's interesting because while we are struggling we tend to say, "It's so hard to focus on the good when I'm here struggling not there happy," but that's exactly what we need to do to stop the perpetuation of struggle.
Once you're grateful for all, no matter what, unconditionally, nothing can bring you down, every moment of pain is momentary because you understand that pain too is something we learn from and thus something we can too be thankful for.
Anyway, I only recently found the Gratitude app, and truth be told I'm quite happy with it, for it allows me to continue my journal even if I don't have my notebook with me, further, it gives you the chance to work with a vision board and affirmations, which is a feature I adore.
I actually start my morning with watching these, rather than checking my socials, which has been a great way for me to kick that habit with ease since I instinctively grab my phone when I wake up - switch it with watching affirmations and your vision board instead of scrolling through Instagram.
It's also great actually to do THIS first thing in the morning, for, in that period of waking up your brain waves are still in there, which means it's easier to access and guide and program your subconscious :)
So, if you're like me, and you have struggled with any of these, whether stubborn outlook on one's own suffering or grabbing your phone in the morning, why not join me with my new little habits and conséquemment new big life. 🌼🌷🌞💗
Ps. Dr. Joe Dispenza helped when I read that you can change your belief through physical makeup, brain chemistry, and DNA.
I since have switched studies to integrative medicine to study this, and how we can live full, positive, happy, radiant lives - for everyone has a birthright to this.