Jabu's Story - I'm not alone
"I recently made the really hard decision to leave my marriage of 5 years."
I recently made the really hard decision to leave my marriage of 5 years, because it was extremely toxic.
It had damaged me and my 16-year-old daughter emotionally.
My husband is highly emotionally absent and neglectful, which had caused all sorts of emotional, mental, social, and financial damage to the family.
We tried counseling on several occasions, but it never helped because my husband was never committed to any of the things we were advised.
So I made the decision to leave the marriage.
When I did that, he decided to stop paying my rentals and cut the upkeep amount to peanuts.
I am not in formal employment. I run a not-for-profit organization where I help people heal from trauma and any mental health issues.
The organization doesn't make any money yet, which my husband knows very well, but he still decided to go ahead and make this decision.
I was devastated, to say the least! I have three children to feed and shelter and I had no money! I felt so alone and hopeless!!
And to top it off, both his family nor mine support my decision.
They believe that a woman must just humbly tolerate anything the husband does, and keep the marriage intact.
Anything she goes through, she must just be silent about and endure because "God hates divorce". So I felt extremely isolated and alone!
I got an eviction notice from my landlady, and I had no money to even shift from the house.
Plus I had no money for food for the children. Everything was hitting me all at once, and I got overwhelmed.
I knew I couldn't reach out to my family or his, because they would just tell me that it was my own fault, that I'm too proud and must just humble myself and go back to my husband.
So in desperation, I reached out to some private groups on social media for help. Nothing came through!
And the deadline was fast approaching for me to vacate the house. So in even more desperation, I swallowed what little self-dignity I had left, reached out to some of the friends I have, and shared my predicament.
To my utter shock, a number of them rallied behind me, and were so understanding and empathetic!
They sent me the help I needed, plus extra!
And I was able to move to my mother's place (where she explicitly told me, both with her words and her actions, that she didn't want me in her house. But I refuse to leave because I have nowhere else to go).
So while here in this hostile environment with my children, I knew I had to do something drastic to stay positive and not draw in self-pity and even get to regret this decision I made.
I started looking for something that could help me stay positive and stay afloat. That's when I came across the Gratitude app.
It has helped me with daily affirmations, my vision board for my organization, and even just staying positive and grateful.
But the real kicker, which led me to share my story, was today's (13.11.2022) Zen. The thankfulness post was about saying thank you to someone who has been extremely kind to you.
So when I started thinking about it, it took me back to the people I'd reached out to, who gladly and graciously helped in my time of desperation.
I realized how many people I actually had in my corner. People who are right there, in my life. Not far away. I cried!
Because I realized that I was never really alone when I thought and felt like I was.
There were people around me who truly cares about me and my well-being and were eager to help.
Thank you so much for this app that helped me realize this truth that was right there but I couldn't see it.
